Thursday, December 2

Evidence from the West that All men have a sexual need for men (and that includes those classified as 'straights' in the West

(The following article is reprinted from a western gay cruising site. User discretion is required before you click upon the link)

Riding in the Back of the Cab

by Cab Lad

After several years of extensive research this intrepid traveler is now ready to share with public sex hounds the most closely guarded secrets of a shadowy sexual underworld: the late night lusts of long distance lorry drivers. Just what delights are in store for you with the manly drivers of those ninety ton freight trucks that scare you shitless when they appear unexpectedly in the rear-view mirrow and sound the horns of hell to tell you to move the fuck over? Read on...

"The men you're going to have most success with are the ones sleeping over. After all, they're unwinding, they have the time, and they've usually got most of their kit off already." .

Sadly, my research has so far been limited to a handful of night stopping areas along England's green and pleasant motorway and 'A' road networks, so maybe the wild generalizations I make below are not so true in the undoubtedly cruisier USA. But hey, men are men wherever they are.

What You Will and Will Not Find

A liking for sex with lorry drivers means a liking for men over forty. Bronzed young gods and cute twinkies do not generally drive overnight stopping lorries. Nor do men with huge dicks, manly furry chests, exotic sexual tastes, or any of the other wank fantasies you see in the 'Wanted' section of the contact ads. What you get is the man next door, or the father of the man next door. Ordinary blokes, with wives, kids and mortgages. You also get no sexual politics, no bullshit, no attitude, and no condoms (bring your own).

Where and When to Find It

You want the kind of long laybys on major roads, where a slip road peels off the carriageway, disappears behind some trees and bushes for a few hundred yards, and then rejoins the main carriageway. Good bets are those which have a phone box (good excuse for cruising up and down to make phone calls), even better are those which have a toilet and facilities block, best of all are those where other hunters are cruising anyway. OK, so you can try cruising lorries parked up elsewhere - in lorry parks for example. But the cruising to scoring ratio is pretty heavy on the cruising side, and it's only really worth it if you want a challenge or if you're desperate.

The men you're going to have most success with are the ones sleeping over. After all, they're unwinding, they have the time, and they've usually got most of their kit off already. You might get a quick fumble with a guy just stopping off for a short break, but the tacho's ticking and his mind just won't be on the job. Best time is around ten-thirty to eleven-thirty at night. Most drivers are away by six a.m. or so and the non-interested ones will have their curtains drawn and the lights off by ten. Those looking for a bit of despunking before turning in hang on an hour or so to wait for the camp followers to show up.

Summer nights are good: the windows are open, their clothing is minimal, there's a sultry mood in the air. You can also go out cruising in shorts, singlet and sneakers which makes for quicker reclothing in sticky situations. Don't forget pockets for keys and condoms. On the other hand, cold winter nights provide drivers with a good excuse to ask you into the cab 'just for a moment' to get out of the cold. You win both ways.

Spotter's Guide

We all wish otherwise, but sad to say, not all lorry drivers are looking for a good time, so how do you know who is? They'll be the ones with the cab curtains drawn three fourths of the way round, sitting on the passenger seat with the window half way down and looking out through the curtain opening (obviously a lot depends on how they were able to park in the first place, of course). They'll generally be away from any lit areas. The cab light may be on or off, or the night light may be on. In summer, and even in winter, they may well have their shirt off (it gets hot in them cabs). Some of the bigger cabs have cute little floor level windows in the doors, which you can get an advance view through. If you see bare legs and a wide open crotch you're probably on to a winner. Mind you, I once watched a guy wanking off furiously over a porno mag through one of these windows until he realized someone was watching and quickly switched the light off.

Standard cruising techniques apply. Lorry drivers generally don't hang around the cottage if there is one, but sit in the cab and wait to be approached. Cruise past a few times, catch his eye and try and make an on the spot decision about whether he's a psycho or not (see 'Risks' below). If he's waiting to catch your eye next time past you've probably scored. Clichéd conversational gambits - 'it's cold / hot / busy / quiet tonight', 'do you want / have you got a light', etc. - are all you need. You have to speak first. In England you add 'mate' to the end of the first few remarks you address to him, followed by 'innit?' for a question. In due course you will be asked if you want to 'come up for a minute' and you're home. Only once have I had to knock on a cab window and coyly ask if the driver wanted 'some company'. He'd been peeping through the curtains like crazy, opening and shutting them, sitting on his bunk in his underpants on display, then hiding away. Finally he lay on the bunk with his nose to the passenger window. He was a nice guy in the finish, but it turned out he was new at cab sex and didn't know the rules. Occasionally you get the completely silent come-on. You cruise past a darkened cab a few times, and then on your next pass the door opens a crack, which is your invitation. These encounters generally mean no talking. Cab sex is usually pretty quick, but the quickest I've ever had was a cab door opening, a rock hard dick being shoved in my face when I leant in, a thirty second blow job (he blew a big load), and the door closing again as I leaned back to catch my breath.

Stub out any cigarettes before entering the cab. Even if the driver is smoking, don't take one in. First, you have to find the ashtray with the lights off and the curtains closed (you close the passenger door curtain after you've got in; he will probably switch the light off at the same time if it's on). Second, you may start talking and lose the moment. One time I sat talking and smoking with a guy for a good twenty minutes getting less and less horny by the minute. Luckily he finally said, 'So are you here for the sex or what?' and we got on with it.

How to Have Sex

Always remember that lorry drivers are not gay. Nor are they bisexual. Do not use these words whatever you think privately. They are 'blokes' who sometimes like to 'mess around', 'fool around', or 'have a bit of fun' with other 'blokes'. Remember that you are not gay either, nor are you bisexual. You may be as camp as the Christmas fairy and have been gagging for a driver's dick all day, but you were just driving around and stopped for a rest / to see what was going on / to have a smoke. If asked, you've sometimes messed around with other blokes. Bragging of sluttishness is not a good idea. Generally though you're not asked.

In pursuing lorry drivers you are following a lonely calling. Even in the cruisiest laybys you should have little or no competition. Gym-toned twinks will turn up their noses at fat dicks proffered to them directly from open cab doors. So if you're not fussy (I'm not) you get whatever's on offer. The best I've managed is three in quick succession in the same layby while a bunch of choosy queens slunk backwards and forwards along the path all night, ignoring each other in case Mister Perfect turned up. I can count on one dick the times I've been turned down on looks alone.

The great attraction of lorry drivers (I can speak only for myself) is not knowing how to be gay - freshness, directness, naiveté; sometimes you even get a bloke for what seems to be his very first time (the guy who called out 'help me! help me!' while I was wanking him turned out afterwards to have no idea of whether he should touch me, what he should do, etc.; at the time I just thought this was what he said when he was going to have an orgasm). Not knowing how to have man-to-man sex can also be a problem though. Here are some tips: no matter how butch, manly and daddy-ish drivers are in your fevered imagination, in practice they are generally as timid as kittens. Even if they know what to do, they generally won't let on in case you think they do this sort of thing often. You have to do all the work - touch them first because they won't touch you, undress them sometimes, suck them, fuck them sometimes, provide the condoms and lube, jack yourself off after they've come, decide when to leave. Usually they provide the towel (or a roll of toilet paper) to mop up afterwards, so you don't have to worry about that. Coming on the sleeping bag is not a good idea.

Sex is mostly on the bunk behind the seats and is cramped. Forget athletics and only 69 if asked - the risk of trapping your leg or getting cramp is high (you have to move round - they lie back). I have given the most amazing blow job though to a guy who leaned against the dash with his pants down while I sat in the seat. He was hard as steel and big, with a good fat head. Unfortunately he refused to come (not common, but it happens sometimes; more to do with some personal line drawing over infidelity or not really being queer I think, rather than holding on for the next one) but I had fifteen minutes of very juicy slurping, with him murmuring 'suck that fuckin dick, you sex slave' and other endearments before he finally pulled back.

Most body parts are a no-no. Straight men don't have tits and they certainly don't have nipples. Most of them will let you brush against these nonexistent parts occasionally, but tweaking and massage may get you more or less gently slapped down. Personally I get off on stroking hairy bellies, balls and inner thighs, which doesn't seem to be a problem. To kiss or not to kiss? If you want to and get as far as lying on top of him, face to face, try nuzzling his neck, then his cheek and see how it goes. A diversion is called for here. After long experience I've decided there are two types of drivers: the horny and the lonely. The horny are generally hard when you get in the cab and want you to suck or wank them. The lonely are generally soft when you get in the cab. They are often divorced or separated and want someone to touch them and hold them. They may also want to kiss (usually not very well - be prepared for lots of teeth clashing and no tongues). Both can provide rewarding experiences, depending on your mood. Unfortunately, the hard-soft rule is not infallible, and it's generally best to assume horny unless told otherwise.

The dick is the main thing. Wank it, suck it, fondle it. You don't need to tell them it's big unless you really want to, but admiring the hardness goes down well, so to speak. Some men like to wank themselves towards the end (true of all men, not just lorry drivers - in the end, you know best how to get yourself off) and you can watch or help, while wanking yourself. You may get wanked or sucked yourself, and sometimes it's worth asking or offering because they may not like to ask. Strangely, and contrary to all fantasy, I've never met a driver who wanted to fuck me, though I wouldn't say no and I have sometimes suggested it. Some do want you to fuck them, though they hold a touching heterosexual belief that face to face is the best way. As they're generally older and fatter (than me, anyway) getting their legs in the air for this is generally not easy and it's not usually the most rewarding experience. The only guy who spontaneously turned over onto his stomach to be fucked was also the only guy who asked me afterwards about local bars and nightclubs, indicating some familiarity with things gay. I've never tried any other position, even if space in the cab permitted. I get the feeling that anything other than missionary position - for example, him sitting on you - would count as 'kinky' and not the sort of thing they should be doing. The ones who want to be fucked, but can't bring themselves to ask, will try and get the message across by putting your dick between their legs and lifting their hips to give you better access. Remember, you have to provide the condoms. For the ones who don't want to be fucked the arse falls into the same category as tits and nipples. As with all sex with strangers, establishing what you do and don't want is often the subject of a going nowhere conversational mumble: 'What do you like?', 'Well, most things really - what about you?' 'Yeah, well, most things'. The non-fuckees will usually add 'but I don't want you to, you know, put it up my arse or anything'.

Risks and Disappointments

Apart from police activity, psychotic local queerbashing youth, and the odd catch of crabs, there aren't that many risks (safer sex is assumed - set your own limits because they may not be very clued up). I've met one or two rather odd drivers and some sad and lonely ones, but none who've turned nasty. Always a good idea to make sure you know where the door handle and lock are when you get in though, and to keep whichever item of clothing has your car keys in it within easy reach. Occasionally you have some competition from professionals (male and female). I once cruised a lit cab with occasionally tweaking curtains for ages. When I finally heard the door open I sauntered over only to bump into an amply busomed female climbing out and adjusting her short short skirt. You win some, you lose some.

You may sometimes think the guy's worth seeing again, but don't get your hopes up. I had an arrangement with one driver that he'd call me if he was passing through and I'd pick him up from a non-cruisy layby and take him home, returning him afterwards. But after a while he only wanted to talk about his wife and kids. Most drivers will refuse to come anywhere with you and leave the lorry. Partly because they're often liable for the contents and it could be a scam. If you meet the same guy twice, it's usually best not to mention it.

Most drivers don't want any other drivers to know what they're doing, so you can spend some frustrating times reassuring them that the other guys walking by are there for the same thing, or waiting with them for the light in the next cab to go off.

Benefits

Great, raw sex - worth all the hassles. Occasionally, some interesting stories.

Editor: Write the author of this article at mjcum@hotmail.com.

More evidence that straight men even in heterosexualized west have widespread sexual need for another man

(The following article is reprinted from a western gay cruising site. User discretion is required before you click upon the link)

Cruising for Sex on a Skateboard

by Skaterboy Chris

Old T-shirts and baggy work pants draped over toned, tattooed or pierced, boxer clad bodies are good indicators that you've got a skater in your midst. He'll be wearing Airwalk sneakers, usually, and have either no hair at all or very shaggy (even long), messy hair. The skater craze is more than a sport or a fad, though. It's a lifestyle for many, and it's attracting guys and girls from almost every age group and educational background.

Everybody is mesmerized by the skater -- it's not just the fancy tricks on his board (some can hardly skate at all) -- it's attitude; his walk, his talk, the ultimate display of his boyish masculinity, fearing nothing that crosses his path. Simply put, the skater has replaced the gang-banger in many gay men's sexual fantasies. The 'rough-and-tumble' edge of the skaterboy make for the perfect 'wrestle me down' sexual experience. The question (more so the lustful desire) of the day is, "How do we get 'em?"

I've been skating since before it became a lifestyle. I've watched skating transform from a mode of transportation (I rode my board to school everyday for six years) to a competitive sport, and then to a complete lifestyle. I live amongst the skaters -- I carry my board with me almost everywhere I go, and I know I've always got other guys to thrash with anytime I want to take the edge off. Sometimes, though, I need more than to just take the edge off, skating around a parking lot -- I can rely on other skaters to release sexual tension, and so can anyone else who really gets into skaterboy like I do.

Clothes

It's very important to first understand how to identify skaterboy; many gay men lump all guys who wear baggy clothes into the same lifestyle, but there are several subcultures that wear this type of clothing. Skaters do not always carry their boards with them -- some guys who carry boards around aren't even skaters, for that matter. You've got to identify the lifestyle of the skater to find him.

"...you'll find that the majority of skaterboy are usually more than willing to play with other guys. Some of them will be very open to the notion; bisexuality is 'cool' to these guys." .

True skaterboy are normally thin, and very agile. They're not carrying any extra weight in the muscle or fat departments, and the majority wear old, baggy, worn clothes purchased at thrift stores. Even the Airwalk sneakers they wear come straight out of thrift stores. These guys will not be materialistic, and may not own much more than you see them carrying around in backpacks. This lifestyle is the product of the 'Grunge' and 'Alternative Punk' lifestyles, and they don't wear anything flashy. Basically, the rule of thumb here is if you see a guy wearing something that looks like it's off the rack at Macy's or Nordstrom, you've got the wrong guy. A guy wearing newer, expensive designer garb will probably also be wearing fat tennis shoes (usually bright white) -- he's a 'raver,' and he will be sporting some type of trendy hair cut.

Once identified, you'll find that the majority of skaterboy are usually more than willing to play with other guys. Some of them will be very open to the notion; bisexuality is 'cool' to these guys.

Location

The best way to hook yourself up with a skaterboy is to frequent the hangouts. Skaterboys normally don't have sex at the top of their lists when they're thrashing, and you won't find them out cruising very often, either. Skaters are not exactly sexual predators; coffee shops, book stores, and mall food courts are good starting points to meet and watch them work their magic. After the malls close, you'll find many in parking lots everywhere. Night time thrashing is best, because traffic is lighter and there's more space available.

You'll need to wear non-threatening clothing -- looking too 'preppy' or clean cut will surely strike you out. Don't rush right out to the nearest thrift store and buy a whole new wardrobe either; you'll just end up looking like a 'wannabe,' and get nothing more than a few scoffs from the boys on the boards.

The boys you'll have most luck with will normally be walking or sitting alone. If they're hanging out with several other skaters, chances are very slim that you'll find any real action (though you'll probably find many opportunities for serious eye contact). Groups of skaters go everywhere, including the restroom, together; it's usually difficult to single one out and get any vibes back from him.

Look for skaters walking along the road, waiting for a bus, or sitting at a coffee shop alone. If you're at the mall, look for singles at the food courts; most skaters already know that many gay men cruise public rest rooms. There isn't a skaterboy alive who won't at least give you a free peek at the urinal; they love being watched.

Another good way to attract a skaterboy attention is to slip a copy of Thrasher magazine (the best and most popular skater rag around) in your back pocket, and walk passed him. If you play your cards right, and slow down just in time, you'll end up eye-to-eye with the curious fellow. Sitting at an outdoor coffee shop table, reading this magazine is another way to spark some curiosity. He'll usually ask if you skate (assuming he noticed the magazine), and strike up a conversation from there. If he starts talking to you, there's really nothing you can say to lose his attention so remember to remain calm, relaxed and confident. If there's one thing all skaterboy like, it's other confident guys to hang with.

Spotting Skaters Who Want Sex

As much as it's cool to skaters to be bisexual, not every guy is into other guys. Keeping respect and good manners in mind, don't approach just any skater and expect him to drop his pants for you.

The majority of skaterboy do not suffer from any type of sexual identity crisis -- they're usually hard-core, tough guys who are willing to try almost anything once. Unfortunately, most men feel that skaters are unapproachable, because of this tough exterior. They assume that skaterboy are straight, and only fantasize about them. The truth is that skaters are driven by curiosity; they love to take things to the extreme and go to the limit in almost everything they do. The key is all in approach.

There is no etiquette to cruising skaterboy; that's the big secret, and the main reason men fail so often in finding any fun with them. Traditional cruising methods do not work with skaters, and should be immediately stored away while you're on the prowl. This is not the forum to use the familiar squeeze of the crotch, tap of the foot under the stall, or even the less conspicuous, "Do you have a smoke?" line. Trying any of these methods will leave you tapping your foot, groping yourself and smoking the whole day long.

Skaters expect to be approached, but don't want to be bothered with senseless conversation about the weather. They love compliments, and they shine for audiences. Sit back and enjoy their shows, listen to their conversations, and let yourself be noticed by them. If you sit too far away, you'll get nowhere.

By now, the overbearing question of the day is, "How do we know if a skaterboy is approachable?" The answer is that we don't. Skaters don't follow a code; they don't use labels very often, and they don't usually cruise for sex. Some skaters, however will sometimes take a liking to gay sex and find the local cruising spots for some fun. The bad news here is if you've got a taste for skaterboy, you've got your work cut out for you. There's just as much chance of scoring with a hitch hiker as there is with a skater; it's all in how you play your game.

Skaters are into eye contact, and they often check each other out. A typical sure sign of interest is when a skater makes eye contact, checks you, then makes eye contact again. The ritual usually starts from a ten to fifteen foot distance between you, so you won't have much time to ponder. This scene calls for quick judgment, but it's also nearly fool proof.

One final note on spotting. Discretion and caution should always be used when cruising any unknown territory. Remember, you're on a skater's turf; use your good judgment and respectfully bow away when it's appropriate. Don't make cruising your obvious reason for hanging out, staring at that one skater; you'll make him uncomfortable (and probably the butt of a few jokes from the other guys). Of course, always remember that there are homophobes and fag bashers in every subculture you'll encounter -- if he looks too tough for words, he probably is. Leave him alone.

How to Have Sex

Just like cruising, there is no etiquette to skater sex. Skaters are just as varied as any other guy you'd pick up in a bar. Obviously, you'll meet some skaterboy who have been around the block, so to speak, and other times you may find a guy who's trying it out for the first time. These guys will not have any hang-ups about you asking, if they don't just say what they like or don't like. If he's new at it, he'll just respond accordingly. The one thing to count on is that you'll almost always need to provide your own protection. Other than that, skater sex is your basic free-for-all.

The Down Side

Because of it's very nature, I haven't met any guy who was disappointed by any form of sex with a skater. Most men feel that skaters are so unapproachable that if and when they score with one, it's a great conquest, regardless of what they did together.

A looming disappointment, however is that you'll often find that you may expel much time and effort cruising a fine skaterboy, only to discover that he has no interest whatsoever. It's always recommended to determine early on whether there will be any sex. Remember, there isn't much need for beating around the bush with these guys.

Again, use caution when confronting any man for a sexual rendezvous. Skaters almost always require direct communication, but that can backfire. You don't want to risk your health and well-being for some afternoon dick. If you are doubtful for any reason, or feel that he may object, quickly depart from the subject or the situation entirely. Don't take any unwarranted risks.

You'll almost always need to provide all of the accommodations, as well. Skaters don't usually live alone, and if they did, wouldn't want just anyone knowing their address. They'd much rather sit back in your car or go back to your place. They won't be very concerned about cleaning up afterward, so you won't need to offer the use of your shower facilities, but they'll appreciate a ride back to meet up with their friends.

Benefits

Rough, uninhibited, raw sex without any hang-ups or limitations.

Author's Notes

I've used the term, 'skaterboy' loosely throughout this article; let me assure you that in no way am I referring to boys under 18 years old. Skaters come in all ages, and races (though are generally white), but we are all skaterboy. In no way, should any reader assume that the author condones sex with minors. I'm a 24 year old skaterboy and writer in San Jose. I've been skating for 13 years, I love the thrasher lifestyle, and have been a writer for ten years. No part of this article is meant to belittle, insult or otherwise offend any individual, especially other skaterboy.
.....

Friday, June 19

East or West, men want the same thing, culture makes them behave differently

matko



Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: in a world of hurt!

Posted: Fri May 02, 2003 4:14 pm Post subject:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Western men punch, slap and hug each other.

Korean men touch, caress and fondel each other.

Which is gayer?

I guess it depends on what you're into!

(not that there's anything wrong with that!)

No unmanly and unnatural social stigma against male intimacy in the non-West

Medic



Joined: 11 Mar 2003

Posted: Thu May 01, 2003 2:47 pm Post subject: Alright alright, let's be negative about korea then.
I enjoy the Saunas, and there are a lot of them in my town and in every other town in Korea. There are aren't that many in Australia or the U.S. or Canada, apparently because of the gay element. You can't open up a sauna in those countries unless it's part of a health and fitness club, because they will invariably be invaded by the gays. I guess the ubiquitus saunas here in korea are an indication of the menfolk being pretty secure in their sexuality.

Western heterosexual males are such queers!!!

Lawrence

Posted: Thu May 01, 2003 4:51 am Post subject:

sultdude..you lose me when you use Mexicans as somehow indicative of
western culture. If Korean men are so comfortable with their sexuality,
why are they always asking me questions like "how do you approach girls?
..what do you say to women..?" Why did the middle school boys I taught two years ago spend their break times stinking their hands in each others pants..? Why do the US troops here think most KATUSA act /
appear gay? Did you read Hong Suk Chon's interview in Korea Herald,
where he said "there is a homo-erotic element to middle school in Korea."
He was there..and walks the walk. One of the few truly honest Koreans I
have met here.

This is man's nature!!

jaderedux

Location: Lurking outside Seoul

Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2003 11:15 pm Excerpts from her post:

A male friend of mine once said that he thought it was strange that Korean men never really even seem to notice women. Korean or other wise. I have notice this also. I am not saying it is good or bad it just seems it is.....

Western women don't like the intimacy between non-Western men

jaderedux

Location: Lurking outside Seoul
Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2003 11:15 pm Excerpts from her post

I have to say as a woman I am somewhat uncomfortable with the "boys club" here. I see grown men holding hands or draped all over each other or dancing together in a club. Teenage boys kissing each others hands and holding hands in the subway makes me feel a little wierd.

Straight men cheering men to strip

maxxx_power

Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2003 11:00 pm Post subject:

I was out dancing the other night with a group of new friends. Most of the women had sat down but the guys were still dancing. Then the DJ began to dance and strip off his clothes, all the dudes on the dance floor began to cheer and make cat calls...egging the stripper on to show more skin.

To me this was pretty gay even for Korean men, but that may be my repressed homosexual guilt showing through, NOT!

Non-western men are more manly

I keep reading here about how the "sensitivity" and same-sex affection of Korean men is a sign of some deeply seated, repressed homosexuality. Does this explain the same sex affection seen in almost all non-Western cultures? Mexican men have machismo, but they are also very affectionate and sensitive. The same with Cuban men.

In fact, it seems that the opposite conclusion could be drawn, and has been by some gender scholars- that it is deep seated homophobia that drives some cultures to eschew open displays of same-sex affection. And that homophobia is really driven by the self-loathing of people who fear their own homo-erotic desires.

I think that, in spite of all of the sexist faults of Korean Culture, Korean men are often more secure in their manhood and sexuality, and therefore are not threatened by being affectionate and sensitive, than a lot of the western men that I know.

This is just another interpretation of the culture here, and is probably as wrong as any other. My point is simply that those who see homosexuality in Korean male behavior are more than likely projecting rather than interpreting.

Negative or Positive?

Excerpts from a discussion on a Korean Job discussion forum. Western males talking derisively about widespread male intimacy in Korea, a non-Western country. But there are some good remarks as well.

Alright alright, let's be negative about korea then.

Fabulous original list. I am debating whether or not I can slap
that on my advanced class. Most of them are pretty humorless. Did
anyone mention the whole gay thing in Korea..as in "no gays in Korea"
haha, but we love to fondle and molest each other..but , you know , were not gay..wink wink.. Korea Herald today had an article about "Korean
male sensitivity " (read: gay). That one really gets me. The fundamental
truth in all of this (highlighted by the comment about "It's a foreigner,
he's tall, etc.") is that there is zero subtlety in Korea. Koreans simply will
not allow it. There's is a world of the obvious, and then lying and deception to obscure the glaring inconsistencies.
As for the gentleman who feels slighted by being referred to as a
guest; for me , guest is the closest association I want with this shithole.
I tell people I got lost on my way to somewhere else.
.....

The Perfect Love Letter - 1

Excerpts from the blog:

Anyway, while hanging out at Ravi's (he is no more.), next to VijayaMahal Talkies (it is also no more.), the veteran bummed a smoke from me and we got into a conversation. 'So, how's your girl?' he asked me, as he let the smoke drift through his bunny teeth. I was surprised and elated too. Not too many in my gang had any girl friends, I don't think they do even now. We were such losers when it came to women, it is not even funny. 'I don't have a girl, what are you talking about?' I answered. He flicked the ash off his smoke, seriously admired the ants that were busy running around on the ground, and whispered, 'You want her to be your girl, no?'
I couldn't confide into anyone in my gang. They hated women. 'Why do you need women when you have VCRs and god-given hands?' was the guiding principle of the gang you see. They thought a girl friend clipped your wings and exhausted your emotional, intellectual bandwidth. So, I was only happy to talk to the veteran. At least he admitted his unremitting, unwavering love for women.

Saturday, June 21

Eating together: a gesture of straight love

As a man who is in touch with his sexual feelings for men, I have been involved romantically with a number of other straight men in my life. And though they never materialised, because they would break as soon as there was the risk of being exposed/ acknowledged, they were all extremely mutually intense.

One thing I have noticed about romantic bonds between straight men in India, at least, is that when two straight men are so involved with each other, they want to eat together -- from the same plate and katori, that is. And it means a lot to them. It is a sign of their bond, and if one partner doesn't eat with his lover -- like he eats before him or eats with someone else -- it is seen as a big betrayal.

Of course, even close friends eat together, but when there's love involved the flavour of this eating together is different. And friends do not get hurt when the other doesn't eat with them. It is more of a convenience between friends. But it is a matter of preference when love is involved.

All of my lovers made it a point to eat with me. And it has always been such a romantic thing to do together. Eating off one plate -- which symbolised that we were one, when neither of us could acknowledge our sexual or romantic feelings for each other openly. In India, since men's spaces are strong, no one suspects anything when two men so eat together.

One of my lovers was actually heart broken when he had come to live with me all the way from a far off town, and I had to go somewhere, so I ate while he was sleeping after the journey. He was very upset and after that to show his anger did not wait for me before eating... and this in turn really hurt me, I guess because it is such a strong symbol of togetherness here.

My present lover, showed his love to me, by asking another boy who had sat with him to have lunch in the office to move away because I was going to sit with him. Now, others had no idea that we want to eat with each other, and especially why we want to do that. But, here again, while this guy too takes thousands of precautions to hide our love for each other from the others, he would be so open about wanting to eat with me. I mean, when it is impossible for me to hear from him that he loves me, it is through gestures like these that I am reassured of his love for me.

Ankit Sharma, Delhi

Sunday, May 4

A glimpse of the good old days

On the bus today, I saw something that after the intense heterosexualisation of men's spaces in a metero like Delhi, I had not seen for a long time.

On board the bus, two young guys from Punjab -- from lower middle working class got on to the bus which was going from Lajpat Nagar to Sarai kale Khan. It seems, in Punjab, men's spaces are still more or less intact, for these guys, unlike Delhi's heterosexualised guys were very open about Masti, i.e. 'straight' (in western parlance) male-to-male erotic bonding.

The better looking one amongst them (the other one did not look good, but both were macho) kept teasing the other guy with sexual inuendos and kept touching him amourously all over. The other was a bit shy and just kept laughing.

He said things like, "Tu meri jhappi lai raya ye, mai teri kiss levanga!" (You're trying to embrace me -- Now I'll take your kiss!", and then he proceeded to Kiss him and the other guy playfully shoved him away.

Another thing I remember him saying was, when the second one said something like, You're a thief, you've stolen my thing..., to which the other one retorted, "I've not stolen your thing, you've stolen my thing." Upon being asked, what had he stolen from him, he point to his heart and said, "you've stolen my heart!"

And, they were so 'straight' -- which means the majority, regular guys, not one of those fem, queer, meterosexual, gay guys.

Purusharth

Wednesday, October 3

Traditional societies acknowledge this.....

I worked as a trainee DTP operator for sometime in a small magazine house. My immediate superior had taken a liking for me and used to protect me like a mentor. He taught me several tricks of the trade, and generally cared for me a lot. I used to nevertheless have long arguments with him (intellectual arguments) about various social/ political issues, as he had some strong opinions and it was addictive to discuss with him. We once discussed HIV/AIDS and in that context I supported the idea of giving freedom to men to have sex with men. There was one more guy present in the room.

Upon this my superior tried to counter me........ but what he said is really interesting (especially in a world which today aggressively propagates something totally opposite) and I have often heard this especially from the older generation. He said, "if you were to allow men to have sex with men, then all men will start doing this (and he rubbed his hands on the other guy sitting next to him) with each other, and no one will care to go to women.".

It was really amazing and refreshing when I think about it now, because today's heterosexualised people don't acknowledge the truth of universal male sexuality for other men like this. But he grew up in a non-heterosexualised and hence much less manipulated world --- and knew what the situation around male-male sexuality exactly was, and also what the real issue involved here was. He did not flinch to acknowledge that the real motive to prevent men from hooking up with men is to force them to hook with women. At one time, not too long ago --- that is what people widely believed. And you know what, they were damn right.

Now its another matter that he felt that it was important and valid to force men to hook up with women, even though he would only support man-woman sex within marriage. Traditional societies don't have any false qualms of being open, free or fair, unlike hypocrite heterosexual societies.

Purusharth, Delhi

Men love to see nice looking men undressing

I was taking a shoot of two male models for our posters that I was making on behalf of UNESCO. The models were changing their clothes for another shoot right in the public park which was however deserted at that time. It didn't look like a shoot at all, and we looked more like friends strolling in a park rather than doing a shoot. The models, especially one of them had a great body. I stood at a distance and was trying to look away from the models as they were changing and it would not looked decent, even though I so much wanted to have a look.

However, I did notice that three boys --- around 17-18 years of age, had come watching the guys take off their clothes and had sat on a bench nearby. They kept watching him with wide eyes as if they'd been mesmerised. I was amazed to look at their openness in displaying their interest in those beautiful guys(which was surely erotic, the way they were looking).

Needless to say, they were normal, regular teenage guys (i.e. straights), who were friends and lived nearby, not those whom the heterosexual society wants to isolate as "homosexuals".

Just before this park shoot I had worked with about 9 youths who were modeling amaturely. These two models were however exceptionally good looking with gym built bodies. The park shoot involved only two guys so I asked the rest of the guys to leave . But somehow these guys did not want to leave. When I insisted one of them who was quite macho himself said, "but we want to look at their 'body'!" I still made them leave (I don't quite remember why!).

But it was quite interesting that they had wanted so much to look at the naked torsos of these too exceptionally good looking models with great bodies. Sometime around that I saw an advertisement on TV that showed a man getting bored at looking at images of gym toned males flexing their muscles while his girlfriend was enjoying it. That was the beginning of the heterosexualisation of India. An all out attack on Indian manhood to drive it towards unnatural heterosexuality.

Purusharth, Delhi

Peeping Enmasse

I was passing through Anand Vihar Bus stop in east Delhi when I saw a blue line bus grounded because it had developed some technical snag. Many passengers (almost all males) had alighted from the bus and were standing on the pavement. A rather shoddy looking helper guy had gone under the bus to repair it, but no one took notice of him. I came on the scene when an extremely handsome guy of around 21 years was removing his trousers after wrapping a flimsy towel around him. He looked very sexy doing that. I could not but help looking at him and stopping by just for his sake, on the pretext of being an onlooker.

The man got under the bus and lied down to repair it in a way that if you were to peep down there you'd be sure to watch underneath his towel. It was an extremely sexy situation and I could hardly prevent myself from looking under the bus. Actually, it was not easy to look under the bus from the pavement. You'd have to sit down and still need to bend yourself down in order to do it, and it would be very obvious why you're doing it, since the guy was there in a 'vulnerable' situation.

But to my surprise one of the guys standing on the pavements gathered the courage to sit down on the pavement and bent his head to look inside. That was very brave and I knew why he was looking down the bus. Now I had a precedent and I too gathered the courage to bend down and take a peep although momentarily --- I was too embarrassed to do that. However, soon after I had taken a peep, about a dozen other guys standing on the pavement sat down on the pavement itself and started to peek down. It was obvious that they were trying to catch a glimpse of his undies or whatever was beneath his exposed towel. That guy really looked something.

It was amazing how open men still were towards male eroticism in a fast heterosexualising India of 2007.

Purusharth, Delhi

Post your experiences on the universality of male to male sexuality

You can POST your experiences around universality of male-to-male sexual need by clicking here.